Broken into a million pieces

The feeling is so strange it's almost sickening,
I don't know if it was love or hatred,
Passion or addiction,
Desire or deliberate self-harm,
All I know is that it is so unbearable I might just stop breathing if I don't stop thinking...

Maybe it's a revenge,
a punishment i deserve;
They say that if it is meant to be then it will be,
But life is inevitably full of uncertainty,
and what happened just made life ever more precarious and insecure for me...

Like a blind eagle or a deaf bat...